Made it into the video! :-)
Monday, December 19, 2011
Luck = Preparation + Opportunity
It's been a minute! Decided to update instead of delete my page entirely ...
So I made the move! I officially got to L.A. November 10th, so I've been here for a little over a month now. I have been trying my hardest to make things happen. So far I have been in two music videos, an online promo and done some audience work ... So not a lot... but I'm working on it.
Taking an acting class, reading acting books, working out, making sure I'm "on" at all times ... just have to be ready to jump on any and all opportunities!
It's a crazy world out here! But the opportunities are there. Now I just have to be ready when my time comes!
So I made the move! I officially got to L.A. November 10th, so I've been here for a little over a month now. I have been trying my hardest to make things happen. So far I have been in two music videos, an online promo and done some audience work ... So not a lot... but I'm working on it.
Taking an acting class, reading acting books, working out, making sure I'm "on" at all times ... just have to be ready to jump on any and all opportunities!
It's a crazy world out here! But the opportunities are there. Now I just have to be ready when my time comes!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Just keep pushin'
So many people are content with just living ... their goal is just to make it through ... and for some, I guess that is a big task. But ... I've never really thought like that ... and I got tired of just going through the motions of life a long time ago. I guess thats why so many people don't understand me ...
"What? You have two degrees and you're trying to do what?! But ... why not just get a job, you can make really good money. (Looks at me crazy, laughs hysterically, and walks away) "Good luck with that!"
If everyone stayed inside their comfort zone, there would be no one to look up to, right?
At the end of the day at least I can say I honestly have no regrets. I attempted everything in my heart's desires 100%, no matter how crazy or out of the ordinary it was.
Don't think I'm gonna make it? Join the club.
More motivation for me! :-)
"What? You have two degrees and you're trying to do what?! But ... why not just get a job, you can make really good money. (Looks at me crazy, laughs hysterically, and walks away) "Good luck with that!"
If everyone stayed inside their comfort zone, there would be no one to look up to, right?
At the end of the day at least I can say I honestly have no regrets. I attempted everything in my heart's desires 100%, no matter how crazy or out of the ordinary it was.
Don't think I'm gonna make it? Join the club.
More motivation for me! :-)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Live. Laugh. Tweet.
I don't get how people have so much time on their hands! Who has time to tweet, blog, update facebook statuses ... And work, study, read, learn?! I feel like all my time is booked. By the time I think of something to tweet or a new fb status, I've already moved on and what I wanted to say is irrelevant. I guess I'd just rather live it than talk about it! More power to all the people who can manage it all!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Auditions & Coaches
So I am a member of a few casting websites. Basically, they send you the castings in which you fit the criteria. Out of the gazillions of jobs I've submitted myself for, I've gotten actual auditions for two ... both did not turn out as planned...
My very first audition opportunity was for a Fitness DVD for a "major" client. I don't know who the major client was, but I do know that the company has done DVDs for Billy Blanks, Kim Kardashian, Bob from The Biggest Loser, etc. I was informed of the audition on a Thursday ... and the audition was that Saturday. It wouldn't have been a problem, if I actually lived in LA. Anyway ... I have a video to explain the problem further.
My second audition opportunity came from a writer/acting coach, via skype (So at least this time I wasn't out of $300). Prior to the audition we had chat convo on skype .. where he basically told me that he doesn't normally hire actors without a lot of experience. So I told him that I could change his mind (trying to sound confident). Anyway, the audition happens, I get nervous, I'm pretty bad apparently. According to him anyway ... blah blah blah ... and so now I have a new acting coach!
I definitely need all the knowledge and experience I can get, so no complaints here! At least now I will have gotten my first bit of LA coaching before I get to LA. He honestly hurt my feelings a bit with his critique, but it definitely won't deter me from my dream, if anything I will work even harder. I still love it. All I can do is soak it all in, learn all that I can, and do my best!
K, bye!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
A little inspiration this morning ...
"I embrace the change of my life as a miracle in action."
“Don’t let yourself be weighed down by what other people think, because in a few years, in a few decades, or in a few centuries, that way of thinking will have changed. Live now what others will only live in the future.” - Paulo Coelho
“Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." - Oscar Wilde
"Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it."
“To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed." - Bernard Edmonds
“Somewhere in your make-up there lies sleeping, the seed of achievement which, if aroused and put into action, would carry you to heights, such as you may never have hope to attain." - Napoleon Hill
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” - George Bernard Shaw
“I found that every single successful person I’ve ever spoken to had a turning point and the turning point was where they made a clear, specific, unequivocal decision that they were not going to live like this anymore. Some people make that decision at 15 and some people make it at 50 and most never make it at all.” - Brian Tracy
"You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle." - George Lucas
***All of these are via thedailylove.com ... love that blog!
Monday, June 13, 2011
First Fitness Competition!
I competed in my very first fitness competition this weekend - NPC Oklahoma! It was tons of fun, I definitely learned a lot. It also made me start to think that being a personal trainer would be a great job to have during my acting journey. That way I can do the two things that I enjoy the most. Exercise and acting!
Anyway, with it being my very first show, I think nerves got the best of me during judging. I forgot to keep the smile up, and my sassiness wasn't quite on point. I turned it up a lot in the night show, but by that time it was too late and the judges had already made up their minds. Now that I have one under my belt I feel like I have a better grasp on what to do for the next one.
Competing is definitely expensive and it's cutting into my ability to save for LA, but I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it as well. If I can't walk out on stage confidently and at least ACT like I know what I'm doing, then I probably can't do it in other aspects either. So I'm working on my stage presence and nerves, so I think it's beneficial. :-)
Anywho! Very very fun weekend. I loved being around all the fit people! The next show is July 23 in Springfield, MO. I have three days of eating absolutely anything, and then its back on the diet and training. I am making the most out of my three days, but I can't wait to keep improving my body and do this again in 5 weeks!
Anyway, with it being my very first show, I think nerves got the best of me during judging. I forgot to keep the smile up, and my sassiness wasn't quite on point. I turned it up a lot in the night show, but by that time it was too late and the judges had already made up their minds. Now that I have one under my belt I feel like I have a better grasp on what to do for the next one.
Competing is definitely expensive and it's cutting into my ability to save for LA, but I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it as well. If I can't walk out on stage confidently and at least ACT like I know what I'm doing, then I probably can't do it in other aspects either. So I'm working on my stage presence and nerves, so I think it's beneficial. :-)
Anywho! Very very fun weekend. I loved being around all the fit people! The next show is July 23 in Springfield, MO. I have three days of eating absolutely anything, and then its back on the diet and training. I am making the most out of my three days, but I can't wait to keep improving my body and do this again in 5 weeks!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Blahhhhhhh
Man oh man, can parents bring you down with a quickness or what?!?! I love my parents to death, after all they did give me life and supported me for the first 18 years of my life (and still do on occasion). But when it comes to dreaming big, pursuing out of the ordinary goals, or just pushing the norm in general, they are not with it.
In the case of my dreams of pursuing acting and moving to LA, they make me feel like an idiot for even fathoming it. They have already told me I'll be wasting my time ... they basically told me that I am going to be broke and selling myself on the corner .... they have absolutely no faith in me whatsoever.
Now I'm all for proving people wrong and shutting up the Naysayers .... but ... when its your parents, it definitely weighs on you a little (a lot) more.
On the one hand, it pisses me off that my own parents think that I would fail so miserably. They are supposed to be the ones that have faith in me, that support me, that push me to my full potential.
On the other hand, my parents came from a super small, super country town in west Arkansas. Coming to Fayetteville and being able to get a college education and live comfortably was achieving the dream for them. They want me to play it safe and stick around Arkansas and live "comfortably" like them....yeah, not happening. Fayetteville is a beautiful place, and a great place to raise a family ... but I'm not planning on having a family any time soon (if at all), and it's not like Fayetteville is going anywhere. I can always come back.
Ugh, anyway ... I just had to vent. My feelings are hurt beyond belief. I'll get over it and keep moving forward and it definitely won't stop me from pursuing everything that I want to do. But if I have kids, I will never deter them from their dreams. I want them to reach and exceed their potential, even if it's in a bunch of different things.
"You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle." ~George Lucas
In the case of my dreams of pursuing acting and moving to LA, they make me feel like an idiot for even fathoming it. They have already told me I'll be wasting my time ... they basically told me that I am going to be broke and selling myself on the corner .... they have absolutely no faith in me whatsoever.
Now I'm all for proving people wrong and shutting up the Naysayers .... but ... when its your parents, it definitely weighs on you a little (a lot) more.
On the one hand, it pisses me off that my own parents think that I would fail so miserably. They are supposed to be the ones that have faith in me, that support me, that push me to my full potential.
On the other hand, my parents came from a super small, super country town in west Arkansas. Coming to Fayetteville and being able to get a college education and live comfortably was achieving the dream for them. They want me to play it safe and stick around Arkansas and live "comfortably" like them....yeah, not happening. Fayetteville is a beautiful place, and a great place to raise a family ... but I'm not planning on having a family any time soon (if at all), and it's not like Fayetteville is going anywhere. I can always come back.
Ugh, anyway ... I just had to vent. My feelings are hurt beyond belief. I'll get over it and keep moving forward and it definitely won't stop me from pursuing everything that I want to do. But if I have kids, I will never deter them from their dreams. I want them to reach and exceed their potential, even if it's in a bunch of different things.
"You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle." ~George Lucas
Progress Update
Ummm ... well there hasn't been too much progress really. Let's see....
I received an email from THE casting director that helped choose the cast of the majority of the Disney shows that are currently on the air (Wizards of Waverly Place, Sweet Life, Sunny with a Chance, That's so Random, etc), and she is also the casting director for Blue Mountain State on Spike. She remembered me from the cruise, asked about my progress with training/classes, told me to let her know when I make the move to LA, and she would get me in for castings that I was right for. She seemed very genuine and down to earth and willing to help, which is awesome. And maybe she sent similar emails to everyone, I don't know. I'm just glad that she at least remembered me. Anything is a start, right?
I read an acting book last week. I read it in one sitting, it took me about 4 hours to finish. It was called Acting with Integrity: The essential "how to" book for aspiring actors, by Ryan Kitley.
I received an email from THE casting director that helped choose the cast of the majority of the Disney shows that are currently on the air (Wizards of Waverly Place, Sweet Life, Sunny with a Chance, That's so Random, etc), and she is also the casting director for Blue Mountain State on Spike. She remembered me from the cruise, asked about my progress with training/classes, told me to let her know when I make the move to LA, and she would get me in for castings that I was right for. She seemed very genuine and down to earth and willing to help, which is awesome. And maybe she sent similar emails to everyone, I don't know. I'm just glad that she at least remembered me. Anything is a start, right?
I read an acting book last week. I read it in one sitting, it took me about 4 hours to finish. It was called Acting with Integrity: The essential "how to" book for aspiring actors, by Ryan Kitley.
It was an easy read and definitely informative. I'm trying to get as much knowledge as I possibly can. I don't want to go into anything blind, not smart (or efficient).
I have my second installment of my acting class on Wednesday ... we are supposed to have a dramatic monologue memorized from a play that we have actually read. I haven't quite found a play or monologue yet, so I need to get on that.
My first fitness competition is on Saturday! My competition suit is being tailored as we speak, my shoes should be delivered either today or tomorrow, and I have my stage routine ready! I'm really hungry (which means I've been sticking to my meal plan), and I have been working out like a maniac. After Saturday, I will know if it is something I want to continue doing, or if I want to chalk it up as a great experience. Even though I really really really miss all those beautiful foods that are bad for me, I'm pretty sure I'll want to continue.
Hopefully I'll have some awesome pics to post afterwards!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
First acting class is in the books!
So last night I went to my very first acting class. It's a 5-week course held through a local theatre company. The class is in it's third week and two of us were newcomers (but I was the only one completely new to acting). The class has probably about 10+ that participate, but only 5 of us showed up last night (Which I didn't mind).
Anyway, we worked on monologues ... you could really tell that the three class veterans had tons of experience. We are supposed to prepare a dramatic monologue from a play. It was amazing, to say the least, to see them work. To see them take direction, change what they were doing completely, and for it be so believable ... awesome.
Then it was my turn ... with my comedic monologue, that wasn't from a play .... and it was my first time in that type of setting. While, I'm pretty sure that I didn't do that great at taking direction ... I still enjoyed every moment of it. Yes, it was intimidating a little bit and kind of unnerving. To stand there and understand the terms, to try and convey true emotions ... to change those emotions and try again ... it was intense. But I loved it. Yes, I definitely have tons to learn, tons to work on, tons to soak in ... but I'm so excited for this journey.
Acting is so .... beautiful! The artistry and self expression and emotion .... is mind boggling. I have to do it. I have no choice.
So, that's it! Hopefully a video blog will be coming soon!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Steps in the Right Direction
I found an acting class here in Northwest Arkansas ... yay! It's a five week class that meets every Wednesday ... unfortunately, I found it two weeks in. I think it's going to work out for me though, because now I get some one on one training as well to make up for the two classes that I have missed. I'm really excited to start getting more acting knowledge! Now I just have to find more short films and plays and more experience in general. I want to make the move to LA in September, but before I do I want to get as much of a foundation as I possibly can to stand on here in Fayetteville. I still haven't written about my actual plan, have I? I'll have to do that soon!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Personality Test ... Not bad!
There were a few things that I didn't quite agree with ... but overall pretty accurate!
Click above to take your own...Click Below to see my results! :-)
Click above to take your own...Click Below to see my results! :-)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Which way? Over there? Thanks!
I feel like I am such a mess! I'm all over the place! And I don't just mean right this second, I just kinda mean as a rule. :-/
I feel like in life you should never EVER EVER settle. Whatever it is that makes you happy, that should be your goal. You should be determined to make it happen ... to be happy! You shouldn't have to settle for mediocre, for alright, for "eh, it pays the bills." You should find your passion and do whatever it takes to succeed in that!
Sounds beautiful, right? Sounds like the perfect plan. Well, it is, if you know exactly what you want to do. If you know what makes you happy and know how to make that happen ... and still be able to live.
Well me personally, I had absolutely no idea what that particular happiness was for me, or how to pursue it ... and, I've just always lacked direction. All I ever knew about me is that I wasn't going to settle. I have two degrees and the entire time I was in school, I was still trying to figure out what I was going to do with myself. Even back in December when I finished school and was working in sports, I still didn't really know.
There were a few things that I have always been certain of though. (1) I love art and expression, and I was always trying to figure out how to get it out of myself. I'm not that great a poetry, or drawing, but I wanted to find my medium. (2) Whatever I did, whether it be sport related or not, it was going to be involved in entertainment. That's broad, I know, but I knew that much at least.
I know I'm twenty-something. I know that the practical thing would be to use my two degrees and get a stable job and buy a house and ... live. But I don't just want to go through the motions of life, and do what I'm supposed to just because I'm supposed to do them. I want to make sure that I am the happiest person that I can be. And for me, that will only come from living with no regrets, from pursuing everything that I ever want to pursue and going all out.
Anyway, I've found something that I am extremely passionate about. Something that makes me want to go all out, to take a change and commit fully. And I know that it's going to be hard. I know that there will be tons of no's tons of rejection, tons of hard times. But, that's a journey that I am prepared to take. I feel like I have a direction now. I feel like I have found something that will give me the joy that life is supposed to give me! I've found my artistic medium. I've found my entertainment .... in acting.
And let me clarify ... I don't have dreams of being famous. I just want to be able to make a living doing it. And I know that it is going to be the hardest journey of my life. But I will never know my potential unless I go at it 100%. While I am young enough to do so. My degrees aren't going anywhere. I still have them, if needed, for the future.
But I know what I have to do ... In my pursuit of Happiness :-)
I feel like in life you should never EVER EVER settle. Whatever it is that makes you happy, that should be your goal. You should be determined to make it happen ... to be happy! You shouldn't have to settle for mediocre, for alright, for "eh, it pays the bills." You should find your passion and do whatever it takes to succeed in that!
Sounds beautiful, right? Sounds like the perfect plan. Well, it is, if you know exactly what you want to do. If you know what makes you happy and know how to make that happen ... and still be able to live.
Well me personally, I had absolutely no idea what that particular happiness was for me, or how to pursue it ... and, I've just always lacked direction. All I ever knew about me is that I wasn't going to settle. I have two degrees and the entire time I was in school, I was still trying to figure out what I was going to do with myself. Even back in December when I finished school and was working in sports, I still didn't really know.
There were a few things that I have always been certain of though. (1) I love art and expression, and I was always trying to figure out how to get it out of myself. I'm not that great a poetry, or drawing, but I wanted to find my medium. (2) Whatever I did, whether it be sport related or not, it was going to be involved in entertainment. That's broad, I know, but I knew that much at least.
I know I'm twenty-something. I know that the practical thing would be to use my two degrees and get a stable job and buy a house and ... live. But I don't just want to go through the motions of life, and do what I'm supposed to just because I'm supposed to do them. I want to make sure that I am the happiest person that I can be. And for me, that will only come from living with no regrets, from pursuing everything that I ever want to pursue and going all out.
Anyway, I've found something that I am extremely passionate about. Something that makes me want to go all out, to take a change and commit fully. And I know that it's going to be hard. I know that there will be tons of no's tons of rejection, tons of hard times. But, that's a journey that I am prepared to take. I feel like I have a direction now. I feel like I have found something that will give me the joy that life is supposed to give me! I've found my artistic medium. I've found my entertainment .... in acting.
And let me clarify ... I don't have dreams of being famous. I just want to be able to make a living doing it. And I know that it is going to be the hardest journey of my life. But I will never know my potential unless I go at it 100%. While I am young enough to do so. My degrees aren't going anywhere. I still have them, if needed, for the future.
But I know what I have to do ... In my pursuit of Happiness :-)
Let's Cruise!
Alright! So! Hmmmm, lets see ...
Lets catch up on my life, shall we?
I recently came back from a two week "vacation" to the west coast. I went on the cruise that I was talking about in an earlier post. This was a regular cruise on the Carnival cruise line ... we were but a small portion of the people on board. Anyway, there were about 25 talent agents and casting directors, and about 85 talent. The agents were big ones! Modeling agents from the big agencies, Casting directors and talent agents from the big channels and most popular shows (think of your favorite show that you can't stand to miss every week, and I bet one of these people cast someone on their).
So, day one was just an orientation and introduction. Day two included the modeling, swimsuit and monologue portion. Day three was talent (dancing & singing), scene study and improv day. (I'm not sure that's exactly how it went, but something like that).
I was confident that I sailed through the majority of it. Since I had been working out for fitness competitions, I thought I looked ok in my swimsuit (even though I had a minor incident while trying to cover my tattoos and got brown concealer all over my yellow bikini bottoms :-/ ). My monologue came out exactly how I wanted it to and I got lots of laughs. Scene study was eh ... I'll admit I stumbled through a couple of lines. I probably looked pretty nervous during improv and I rushed through it to hurry off stage (definitely my weakest moment of the cruise). I somehow got cut from the singing portion, even though I know I sounded better than some of the chosen ones. I'm still not exactly sure how/why that happened, but I took it in stride. So all in all, I thought I would at least get three or four call backs....
Wrong! I got one lousy callback ... and it wasn't even a real one. It was from an acting school in the NY area ... they were basically there to let people know about their school and to give away a few scholarships. I'm pretty sure they called back everyone on the ship.
Three other girls from my agency came on the cruise along with myself ... they each got 5-7 callbacks AND they recieved $1500 scholarships from the school that I got the pity callback from. Needless to say I was upset, crushed, devastated, discouraged ... I was a horrible mess. At that point, I felt like I had wasted my money ... I felt like a failure ....but not once did I think that I should give up on my acting dream.
I mean, come on! That was my first time ... I had no training, no experience ... nothing. I did walk away with 2nd place for my monologue. Also, after callbacks, they had open interview time ... this is when you could to talk to all of the people who didn't call you back and be like "...WTF?!" (or something like that). So, I went to some casting directors who all gave me great feedback. They advised that I should make the move to LA if I truly want to pursue acting. I do have two degrees to fall back on if it doesn't work out. I was told that I am absolutely adorable. I was told that I am green and definitely need more training, which I totally agree with. I was told that I need completely new pictures, which I also agree with. Actually I will show you my comp card! You are not supposed to have on black lipstick in a head shot ... EVER. But my issues with Kim are another story entirely...
So, there it is! Some pictures I like, some I don't .... consensus on the cruise was that they SUCK! And it's the industry's opinion that matters! But Um ... I think I'm done with this post. There will be another one shortly entitled, "THE MOVE" ... or something original like that.
Oh! And I'm definitely starting a video blog (My youtube is MissToyz). I need some more on camera time anyway. K, Bye!
Lets catch up on my life, shall we?
I recently came back from a two week "vacation" to the west coast. I went on the cruise that I was talking about in an earlier post. This was a regular cruise on the Carnival cruise line ... we were but a small portion of the people on board. Anyway, there were about 25 talent agents and casting directors, and about 85 talent. The agents were big ones! Modeling agents from the big agencies, Casting directors and talent agents from the big channels and most popular shows (think of your favorite show that you can't stand to miss every week, and I bet one of these people cast someone on their).
So, day one was just an orientation and introduction. Day two included the modeling, swimsuit and monologue portion. Day three was talent (dancing & singing), scene study and improv day. (I'm not sure that's exactly how it went, but something like that).
I was confident that I sailed through the majority of it. Since I had been working out for fitness competitions, I thought I looked ok in my swimsuit (even though I had a minor incident while trying to cover my tattoos and got brown concealer all over my yellow bikini bottoms :-/ ). My monologue came out exactly how I wanted it to and I got lots of laughs. Scene study was eh ... I'll admit I stumbled through a couple of lines. I probably looked pretty nervous during improv and I rushed through it to hurry off stage (definitely my weakest moment of the cruise). I somehow got cut from the singing portion, even though I know I sounded better than some of the chosen ones. I'm still not exactly sure how/why that happened, but I took it in stride. So all in all, I thought I would at least get three or four call backs....
Wrong! I got one lousy callback ... and it wasn't even a real one. It was from an acting school in the NY area ... they were basically there to let people know about their school and to give away a few scholarships. I'm pretty sure they called back everyone on the ship.
Three other girls from my agency came on the cruise along with myself ... they each got 5-7 callbacks AND they recieved $1500 scholarships from the school that I got the pity callback from. Needless to say I was upset, crushed, devastated, discouraged ... I was a horrible mess. At that point, I felt like I had wasted my money ... I felt like a failure ....but not once did I think that I should give up on my acting dream.
I mean, come on! That was my first time ... I had no training, no experience ... nothing. I did walk away with 2nd place for my monologue. Also, after callbacks, they had open interview time ... this is when you could to talk to all of the people who didn't call you back and be like "...WTF?!" (or something like that). So, I went to some casting directors who all gave me great feedback. They advised that I should make the move to LA if I truly want to pursue acting. I do have two degrees to fall back on if it doesn't work out. I was told that I am absolutely adorable. I was told that I am green and definitely need more training, which I totally agree with. I was told that I need completely new pictures, which I also agree with. Actually I will show you my comp card! You are not supposed to have on black lipstick in a head shot ... EVER. But my issues with Kim are another story entirely...
So, there it is! Some pictures I like, some I don't .... consensus on the cruise was that they SUCK! And it's the industry's opinion that matters! But Um ... I think I'm done with this post. There will be another one shortly entitled, "THE MOVE" ... or something original like that.
Oh! And I'm definitely starting a video blog (My youtube is MissToyz). I need some more on camera time anyway. K, Bye!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friends .... How Many of us Have Them?
Friends (real and fake) are something that I've always tended to lack. Don't get me wrong, I do just fine by myself. I have no problem going out to eat or to the movies by myself. But it would be nice to get invited places … to have someone to dress up and go out with … to have someone to call when I'm having a relationship problem.
Something was said to me once, that will stick with me forever. I was a bartender/waitress at a new place in town. The manager scheduled me to waitress a whole lot more than bartender. Waitresses would make about $30 a night vs. the $300 that bartenders would make … so, naturally, bartending is what I wanted to do! Granted, I was new at bartending, but instead of giving me a chance like he said he would, he would hire a new girl. So finally, after this happened a couple of times, I confronted him about it. He told me his reason for not letting me bartend is because he didn't think I had very much presence … that I lacked presence!!!! I have never, in my life been more pissed off and hurt than I was that day.
I wanted to think that he was mistaken … I wanted to believe that since I wasn't his type (I'm pretty positive he's slept with the majority of his employees) and the fact that he hadn't seen me in action (bartending and waitressing) that he was biased and had no idea what I was capable of.
I was partially right … I was an awesome bartender …I got tons of attention, made great drinks and great money. But … unfortunately I think he was right too. His words are reflected to too many other areas of my life for him not be at least a little bit on point.
Why don't I have any friends? Why don't I make enough of an impression on the people I meet? And If this is the case, how can I ever fathom being taken serious in any profession, especially acting?
Sigh … such a sad revelation … but overcoming this can only make me stronger in the end. I don't mind being the under dog, I don't mind being doubted by everyone around me. Proving people wrong is something that I'm really good at. So anywho, I will keep you posted on my progress. I plan on surprising a lot of people.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
My Newest Ventures
Alright! So ... I think the last time I blogged was like over five months ago ... some things have changed, but a lot is still the same unfortunately. I do have my master's degree in sport management now (yay!). I'm still doing my media relations internship... it ends in June. It's going well ... as well as it can go at least. I've enjoyed it for the most part. It's fun having a job that allows you watch sports non stop. But the pay is super crappy and it is super duper time consuming .... it's definitely not a mon-fri, 9-5 type job. So I'm pretty positive that it's not the career path that I would like to take.
Throughout my life, I've never been able to really pinpoint exactly what I wanted to do when I "grew up." I knew I always enjoyed medical things, and I still do, but I also know that dream is shot. I know that I enjoy sports, which is why I now have a degree pertaining to sports (yay!). There are lots of things I can do that involve sports, but it's a matter of finding them, being interested in them, and having the connections to get them.
VENTURE #1
The other thing that has always been of interest to me is art and entertainment. Everybody and their momma has said they were a model or wanted to be a model, and that's not something that I am really interested in. Yeah, I've done photo shoots and runway shows ... but i'm also realistic. I'm only 5'7 and even though I consider myself skinny, I would still look HUGE if I stood next to a real model. What I would love love LOVE to do is act. Yes, act.
I know it might seem like my desire/interest to act came way out of left field, but not really. It's not something that I have strongly pursued, but it's always been there. I know that I would be great at it ... there's no doubt in my head. Unfortunately, being in Fayetteville, Arkansas, poses the same difficulties for acting as it does for sports jobs and opportunities in general. But, there is one thing that I have going for me here.
I am currently a part of a talent Agency here called Faces Inc. I was extremely skeptical of it at first ... I didn't think that anything in this area could be legit nationally. I thought that it would pretty much just stick to local stuff. Kim, the owner and founder of Faces Inc. (aka FIA), is a former makeup artist that has worked on several big TV shows and films ... why she's in Arkansas now, I have no idea ... but I'm glad she is. She has tons of connections with national agencies, talent scouts, etc. She's always bringing in acting coaches and what not. She's legit.
So twice each year, there's this cruise through a company called global stars network. This cruise is restricted to talent, agents, casting directors, and people like that. The reason that they put it on a cruise is so that the talent get the full attention of the agents and directors. There's no phone/computer distractions. When I first heard about the cruise, I basically thought it was just a scam to get you to pay them a bunch of money. Well, you do pay them a lot ... but there have been great results. From the last trip, one of Kim's talents got an agent in New York, will be moving there this summer, and will be starring in a new television show. Another has been in several Disney and Nickelodeon shows and movies. Kim is legit, and so is this cruise.
Anyway, I am going on the cruise in May .... still trying to get the money together (it's a lot), but I'm going to make it happen. My only qualm is that I wish I had more experience. I've read thousands of things on acting ... I have a couple of monologues memorized ... I even have a youtube page where I post my monologues (search for MissToyz) so that I can get feedback and get better. But it's not the same thing as interacting with someone else. All I've done is talk to myself a lot. I just want to be able to say that I have acted before I go on this cruise. I was supposed to be in a short film called Black on Black... but I never heard back from that. I've wanted to audition for some plays around here, but there aren't any. So I'm pretty much SOL. BUTTTTT ... I still know that I'm going to rock it when I get to the auditions on the cruise. And if I don't ... then at least I tried, and I won't have any regrets or thoughts of what if.
VENTURE #2
So my other new journey is very new to me as well, but it's a little more familiar. I am going to start doing fitness competitions! I'm not trying to become a body builder ... that's DEFINITELY not for me. There are different categories: Body Building, Figure, and Bikini. Body Building is self explanatory ... figure is a step below that, but still pretty cut .... bikini is toned and well proportioned, but not as defined as the other two categories. Bikini is my category of choice. I want to still look as feminine as possible, but I want to have a better physique than I do now ... almost like my old basketball body, but better.
I have a personal trainer, his name is Bruce. He works with a group of girls and gets them ready to compete on stage. He's awesome and one of my new favorite people. Competitions begin for me in June, so right now we are in the preparations stage. I started hardcore about three weeks ago. I did a detox to balance out my system so I could start fresh and healthy and when that was complete I started a meal plan. Throughout all of that I have a cardio and workout plan as well. I've already slimmed down and I've lost about 8lbs. I don't look that bad if I do say so myself ... I might start posting pictures so that I can document my progress.
Eating right is definitely the hardest part for me ... I love food, especially bad foods. But I've been sticking to the diet and I am definitely seeing results, which makes me want to continue with it. Not to mention, if I actually want to do well in competition, I need to stick to it.
There are numerous opportunities that can come from this as well ... lots of girls who do well in competition are put in magazines, start acting careers, etc. So I figure by doing both of these, they can lead me down the path to entertainment. And when I say that I want to act, I'm not saying that I want to be famous ... Although I love her, I don't have to be Natalie Portman ... I would just love to be able to make a living doing it. To me acting is art ... it's a form of self expression. Each time you get to be someone else. You get to portray that person however you want to. You get the chance to not be yourself on a regular basis ... it's like an escape. I think that's awesome!!!!!!!! When I talk about it, it makes me even more anxious to get started.
Hopefully my time comes soon!
Throughout my life, I've never been able to really pinpoint exactly what I wanted to do when I "grew up." I knew I always enjoyed medical things, and I still do, but I also know that dream is shot. I know that I enjoy sports, which is why I now have a degree pertaining to sports (yay!). There are lots of things I can do that involve sports, but it's a matter of finding them, being interested in them, and having the connections to get them.
VENTURE #1
The other thing that has always been of interest to me is art and entertainment. Everybody and their momma has said they were a model or wanted to be a model, and that's not something that I am really interested in. Yeah, I've done photo shoots and runway shows ... but i'm also realistic. I'm only 5'7 and even though I consider myself skinny, I would still look HUGE if I stood next to a real model. What I would love love LOVE to do is act. Yes, act.
I know it might seem like my desire/interest to act came way out of left field, but not really. It's not something that I have strongly pursued, but it's always been there. I know that I would be great at it ... there's no doubt in my head. Unfortunately, being in Fayetteville, Arkansas, poses the same difficulties for acting as it does for sports jobs and opportunities in general. But, there is one thing that I have going for me here.
I am currently a part of a talent Agency here called Faces Inc. I was extremely skeptical of it at first ... I didn't think that anything in this area could be legit nationally. I thought that it would pretty much just stick to local stuff. Kim, the owner and founder of Faces Inc. (aka FIA), is a former makeup artist that has worked on several big TV shows and films ... why she's in Arkansas now, I have no idea ... but I'm glad she is. She has tons of connections with national agencies, talent scouts, etc. She's always bringing in acting coaches and what not. She's legit.
So twice each year, there's this cruise through a company called global stars network. This cruise is restricted to talent, agents, casting directors, and people like that. The reason that they put it on a cruise is so that the talent get the full attention of the agents and directors. There's no phone/computer distractions. When I first heard about the cruise, I basically thought it was just a scam to get you to pay them a bunch of money. Well, you do pay them a lot ... but there have been great results. From the last trip, one of Kim's talents got an agent in New York, will be moving there this summer, and will be starring in a new television show. Another has been in several Disney and Nickelodeon shows and movies. Kim is legit, and so is this cruise.
Anyway, I am going on the cruise in May .... still trying to get the money together (it's a lot), but I'm going to make it happen. My only qualm is that I wish I had more experience. I've read thousands of things on acting ... I have a couple of monologues memorized ... I even have a youtube page where I post my monologues (search for MissToyz) so that I can get feedback and get better. But it's not the same thing as interacting with someone else. All I've done is talk to myself a lot. I just want to be able to say that I have acted before I go on this cruise. I was supposed to be in a short film called Black on Black... but I never heard back from that. I've wanted to audition for some plays around here, but there aren't any. So I'm pretty much SOL. BUTTTTT ... I still know that I'm going to rock it when I get to the auditions on the cruise. And if I don't ... then at least I tried, and I won't have any regrets or thoughts of what if.
VENTURE #2
So my other new journey is very new to me as well, but it's a little more familiar. I am going to start doing fitness competitions! I'm not trying to become a body builder ... that's DEFINITELY not for me. There are different categories: Body Building, Figure, and Bikini. Body Building is self explanatory ... figure is a step below that, but still pretty cut .... bikini is toned and well proportioned, but not as defined as the other two categories. Bikini is my category of choice. I want to still look as feminine as possible, but I want to have a better physique than I do now ... almost like my old basketball body, but better.
I have a personal trainer, his name is Bruce. He works with a group of girls and gets them ready to compete on stage. He's awesome and one of my new favorite people. Competitions begin for me in June, so right now we are in the preparations stage. I started hardcore about three weeks ago. I did a detox to balance out my system so I could start fresh and healthy and when that was complete I started a meal plan. Throughout all of that I have a cardio and workout plan as well. I've already slimmed down and I've lost about 8lbs. I don't look that bad if I do say so myself ... I might start posting pictures so that I can document my progress.
Eating right is definitely the hardest part for me ... I love food, especially bad foods. But I've been sticking to the diet and I am definitely seeing results, which makes me want to continue with it. Not to mention, if I actually want to do well in competition, I need to stick to it.
There are numerous opportunities that can come from this as well ... lots of girls who do well in competition are put in magazines, start acting careers, etc. So I figure by doing both of these, they can lead me down the path to entertainment. And when I say that I want to act, I'm not saying that I want to be famous ... Although I love her, I don't have to be Natalie Portman ... I would just love to be able to make a living doing it. To me acting is art ... it's a form of self expression. Each time you get to be someone else. You get to portray that person however you want to. You get the chance to not be yourself on a regular basis ... it's like an escape. I think that's awesome!!!!!!!! When I talk about it, it makes me even more anxious to get started.
Hopefully my time comes soon!
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