Friends .... How Many of us Have Them?

Friends (real and fake) are something that I've always tended to lack. Don't get me wrong, I do just fine by myself. I have no problem going out to eat or to the movies by myself. But it would be nice to get invited places … to have someone to dress up and go out with … to have someone to call when I'm having a relationship problem.

Something was said to me once, that will stick with me forever. I was a bartender/waitress at a new place in town. The manager scheduled me to waitress a whole lot more than bartender. Waitresses would make about $30 a night vs. the $300 that bartenders would make … so, naturally, bartending is what I wanted to do! Granted, I was new at bartending, but instead of giving me a chance like he said he would, he would hire a new girl. So finally, after this happened a couple of times, I confronted him about it. He told me his reason for not letting me bartend is because he didn't think I had very much presence … that I lacked presence!!!! I have never, in my life been more pissed off and hurt than I was that day. 

I wanted to think that he was mistaken … I wanted to believe that since I wasn't his type (I'm pretty positive he's slept with the majority of his employees) and the fact that he hadn't seen me in action (bartending and waitressing) that he was biased and had no idea what I was capable of. 

I was partially right … I was an awesome bartender  …I got tons of attention, made great drinks and great money. But … unfortunately I think he was right too. His words are reflected to too many other areas of my life for him not be at least a little bit on point.

Why don't I have any friends? Why don't I make enough of an impression on the people I meet? And If this is the case, how can I ever fathom being taken serious in any profession, especially acting?

Sigh … such a sad revelation … but overcoming this can only make me stronger in the end. I don't mind being the under dog, I don't mind being doubted by everyone around me. Proving people wrong is something that I'm really good at. So anywho, I will keep you posted on my progress. I plan on surprising a lot of people.